Three weeks ago I started this game where I won’t “complain” about something to my husband for two weeks. I see my “complaints” as very legitimate issues that we have to discuss, but multiple hours-long arguments over the course of one weekend was too much, even for me. I decided to take a break from pointing out the problems and find things to be grateful for instead. To let us rest, to let us heal, to make repairs. I read that sometimes when you want something, you can get it by first giving it to somebody else. So I would summon the gentle Rebecca back, who is better at showing love, attention and care to her spouse and being nice to his family, so that I can start to feel more love and connection too. I would call it 14 Days of Love.
However, before I even started this game, I felt drained at the mere thought of having to act really nice, caring and attentive to them. Would it really make me feel better?
And then my inner voice spoke, like it often does, when I was taking a bathroom break.
NO, she said. Clearly, with how tired and under-appreciated you feel, YOU NEED YOUR LOVE MORE THAN THEY DO. It’s time you learn to care for yourself. Let yourself rest by letting husband take care of the baby. Let yourself heal. And learn to give yourself attention and care.
Immediately, I felt light and comforted, as stress, pressure and expectation that I didn’t know were there, melted away.