For Day 9 I posted a blogpost to my personal timeline on Facebook. For a long time I struggled to justify why my writing needs to be shared. Is anybody really interested? Shall I just talk instead of write about these things with actual people? (But like, is anybody going to be interested?) I suspect this need for justification is an excuse for not sharing, because sharing is frightening. Unless you’re sharing pictures of your dinner, or flowers, or anything that guarantees likes like kittens and babies, posting online is vulnerable. Sometimes so much editing occurs that I give up on the whole thing.
There comes a day when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than it was to blossom.
The truth is, I want to show up to the world as the real me as much as I’m afraid of it. I don’t know how to talk about some things, I’ll write. I kind of just don’t want this part of me to be hidden away and die. I think she’s pretty awesome.
When I spend more than half an hour deciding whether to hit publish, I should remember these advice:
- You are entitled to create, to share and express, just like everybody else. (learned this from Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic)
- There will be likers and haters, and silence.
- When the risk to remain tight in a bud is more painful than it is to blossom (Anais Nin), blossom. It’s inevitable. Otherwise:
- Unused creativity is not benign (Brene Brown in this podcast by Elizabeth Gilbert).
One more thing: Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly cautions us to share only when your healing is not dependent on others’ response.