Day 15: love requires effort

14 Days of Love, LOVE


One day, I was sitting on the bus and I thought: Wow. So much has happened lately. I’ve done so much. It’s been tough. I’ve been tough. I’m tired but actually quite satisfied.

I took out my notes and realized it was the 15th day.

14 Days of Love came about because I was overly exhausted and needed some love from myself. It didn’t turn out to be bubble baths every day, or renouncing all baby duty, nothing indulgent and unreasonable like that. There was a layer of self-care where I cut myself some slack, take half a day off work, go on a trip, say yes to fun and rest. It lets you recover, and the real magic lies in you taking back control of your life. 

Then there was the deeper layer, where I began defending and setting boundaries, speaking up, being honest with myself, and saying no. This is where it required a lot of effort. A lot of nerves and adrenaline, confrontations, discomfort, messing up, admitting to messing up, accepting that messing up is okay and then not giving up. You don’t feel happy in those moments, but you’ll feel a bit stronger, a bit more grounded and even a bit more free, every time you’ve dealt with it. Love is not just about feeling good and happy. It seems that Love, or Life, for that matter, is about trying to respond honestly and authentically to whatever happens. It’s not about banishing or avoiding discomfort and problems. Life is supposed to be richly woven in all shades and flavors of experience.

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