Last night in a dream, I confided the recent relationship trouble of a dear friend to another dear friend. The news spread and a circle of four women friends flew across the world, two to show support, one ready to help with anything, and one hoping to talk some sense into an old friend. After being estranged for twelve years, these women were over whatever that had caused the breach in their friendship with this friend. Even I was not expecting such a full on intervention. Now I was caught in the middle as the secret-teller, but all is for the better.
In a book written by a Taiwanese spiritual teacher about reincarnation, he says that every encounter is a pre-planned reunion. Parents, friends, lovers, we promised each other that we’ll meet again. We discussed and decided on the relationship we were going to have with each other. But as we take our first breath as a baby in this material world, we forget. We forget that the main purpose we’re here again is to have a second chance, to make amends to our loved ones and to love them better. We forget, so that we can have the real experience.
Unfortunately, we forget even within the current lifetime about the promises we know we’ve made.
How many of our relationships start out good and turn sour? Would we have talked and be like, “Hey, next time let’s be real good friends. Then let’s have something happen between us so that we’ll break up and secretly resent each other for the rest of our lives”? Or, “Let us be married again in the next life so I can love you better. But let’s make it dramatic and have you cheat on me so that I can never forgive you again. Does that sound good?”
We probably did agree on adding the drama. The drama needs to be there for very important reasons. But with people I love most, I don’t believe we would decide on those endings. Would you?