to my little valentine

My dear little Valentine,

You are the greatest love of my life. I know I should give more credit to your dad, the first greatest love of my life, since he had a role in bringing you into the world. The experts warn us that it’s your spouse who will stay with you when you get old, not your child. But my daughter you are only two years old. What is a mom supposed to do but still be completely in love?

You showed me a love bigger than any love I’d imagined.

It is with you that I learned that love is neither feelings nor actions; that Love is a state of being between you and me. That is why you never care much for my repetitions of “I love you”, and you never say it back even though you can. And I finally come to realize how redundant and inadequate that three-word-phrase feels, at least at this stage. But I’ll keep at it of course, because all that love wants to be expressed. And in case one day we’ll both become shy at expressing it.

You teach me that fatigue, frustration, doubt and joy can coexist in any given moment, and that joy is the one that can override all the others when I didn’t think it was possible. You show me the full spectrum of experiences.

I love you no matter what — that is my job, and I hope to do it well. You love me no matter what — you are the gift and the miracle.

Love,
Mama

valentine

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