At the end of the why’s,
How could you’s, and
How did it’s, and
How did I’s
You know you’ve reached
the end because your heart is still
there on the floor
with your dream,
in a thousand pieces, and none
of the questions or answers
have put them
Finally it’s morning,
A foggy one, perfect
for some quiet crying
Scoop up all the pieces,
Dunk them into the beakers of
Tears you’ve cried over
The years. Watch the dust
Separate and sparkle against
The sun. Why not add some
Real glitter for fun,
Or pour it all into a bigger
Vessel, decorated with
Stickers and ribbons.
I could put it all back together
like a puzzle. But I might just
Let it live in a swirl.
Out of nowhere I hummed a little lullaby
One tune among millions stored in my head
In infinite space that takes up no space
For you can cut my brain open
Yet not find a single song
To be played.
Just like one day you’ll leave your body
Whether it’s damaged or intact.
They say you’ll live in my heart.
But my arms would ache for your weight
My body an empty concave.
My heart cannot 3D print you
The way my mind can play your favorite tape.
So this is what our body is for
To feel our love, in ways better and more.
What a wonder it is we meet equipped
With our mind
And our body.
Now a different tune escapes my lips
I’m my own streaming device,
Speakers, a portable karaoke
As well as a happy audience
All in One.
POEM: A bath for your past
Bring your bleeding heart
and your tainted past
for a bath at the park.
Run it under the breeze,
Sink into the quiet
whispers of the trees,
Let the birdsong lather
up the crusted mind,
Soak in the sunshine
to wash away
your fossilized tears.
See the purity in the eyes
Of the squirrel passing by?
are part of that reflection.
(does this sound familiar? I re-worked it from a previous post!)
Grant me non-bleeding nipples
Grant me a well fed babe
Grant me Freedom
from the breast pump
Before I go insane.
We fear the imperfect
We mistake the Ideal
We worry we fret we believe
You’re a genie in a bottle.
For if I can’t survive the now
There’s not going to be a tomorrow.
During a writing course I took recently, I wrote a sonnet. Dedicated to my friend, C.C, an artist’s soul embittered by an unrewarding working life. Yet, if we have a passion, hobby, an obsession, we have an exit towards joy and connection.
Through an Eternal Overcast
England is an eternal overcast.
Traditions too, on a sensitive mind.
If family is no home for an outcast
Will you make sure my friend’s not left behind?
She rages against eternal Mondays,
A sign of life, as vivid as her veins,
Throbbing with art to explode into rays
That puncture the grey skies of all her pains.
Friend, you burn holes with your pen. If you dare
To write yourself across your face, and link
Each pore into constellations so rare,
To write “star struck” would be a waste of ink.
Who knows what’s in Destiny’s crystal ball.
Life is pain, but your art will free us all.
A poem that’s not risen from an abyss but dropped from heaven. Based on a true day at the park (lol)
~Bubbles to her ponytail~
The sun arrived with us at the wooded park.
I took the bottle of soapy water
Sold four for a dollar, and blew
Transparent pearls to her ponytail.
Her cheeks are full and golden like a freshly baked cream puff.
I blow a kiss through the hoop.
Up and down, up and down
Bubbles flow like musical notes
Of a song about birds and rivers.
She’s fixated on other things.
The tactility of mulch, or the possibility
Of hidden treasure.
My floating kisses skim over
The top of her ponytail.
And from the far side boys come running,
Arms flailing and legs tripping,
Crashing their boyish might on every bubble.
They laugh as they run, coming too close.
She stays unmoved in her peril,
Still pondering her handfuls.
The wind carries my next breath of bubbles
Whistling for the boys to follow.
I hope she doesn’t mind, my darling daughter,
That I’m having rather a lot fun
Watching the boys chase fairies.
(Hi All, this is a piece of creative writing)
A couple posts their engagement photo,
A picture dripping in honey
Swarmed by blessings and envy.
He wraps his arms around
Her shoulders like a rubber band.
Both are dressed in tank tops,
Entangled by their gaze
and naked arms.
Their love is in full bloom.
A magnificent beginning
Of love’s unfolding.
Petals fall out like hair.
But we stay put, for we know
There’s a tiny, pale and sour fruit
Ripening with the seasons.
Flowers and fruit
Are many and sweet.
And they wither like youth.
What’s left of love
Are dry and tough
Will you keep believing,
Keep watering and sheltering,
Until the time comes
For another blossom?
I wonder when was the last time
I had as much skin to skin
With my husband.
I often say to my baby girl, “I love you! Mommy loves you so much, did you know that?”One day I thought that if she could speak, this is what she’d say, “What is remarkable about that? I am loved by you and dad and everyone else. The whole world loves me.”
Which is very true. She has only known love. She does not yet know what it is to not be loved. Although she will never be unloved by her mom and dad, she will feel it one day. She might even feel it from us one day. So I’ll make it my job to make sure she knows and feels loved all her life.
So, making up songs for my baby is a new talent I got after I had my baby. This is one I wrote for her.
I love love love love you, I love love love love you
You’re my *Liliu BB 豬*, no one loves you like I do.
No matter what you say, no matter what you do,
I may not agree with you, but I’ll love you as always
In the same way
I did the day you were born.
The world is beautiful, and life is really hard.
You’ll be happy you’ll be sad, love is gonna break your heart.
There’s pain and there is growth, and I’ll be by your side
Holding you cheering you on, since the day that you were born
Baby you are loved
And that will never change.
And when mommy grows old, and you live far away
I’ll remember you just like
You were with me yesterday.
Though when that finally comes, I might ask you to go
Go and live your dream and life, just remember every night
Baby you are loved
And that will never change.
*Liliu BB 豬* – is a nickname I have for her.