Day 14: Boundaries 103

14 Days of Love, Uncategorized

(my caption for this: not graceful but I did it)

Life doesn’t stay still. For the past few days in 14 Days of Love, only good things have been happening. Haircut, taking time off work, going on a trip with my husband, G. And the day after I come back, BAM! The phone rings and with it brings a Boundary Violation Alert!

I’m still not in a place where I can be wholeheartedly grateful for family members doing things for me that I have asked them not to do. Does such a place exists? In fact, I’m in a place where I’m starting to get angry about it, and where I no longer want to persuade myself that it’s no big deal, and then twist myself into smiling and sounding like I’m glad they did it.

There was time for me to think about how to handle this one, and I tried to come up with what to say using “I” sentences instead of “You” sentences.

It went about 80% according to plan, which would have made this a success. But it turned out that I did not like the script I wrote. I seemed a bit disingenuous and passive-aggressive. I sort of went over the top. So, I remind myself that this is like learning hip hop dance. You do get better at it by trying and practicing, but better can sometimes look like a new kind of bad. It’s okay. Doing it badly or imperfectly is not a reason to stop doing it at all. It’s all progress.

four big truths…



Four big truths (among many) from this conversation between Emma Watson and Gloria Steinum:

  1. Women can have a disturbing long conversation about how unhappy they are with their bodies and the way they look.
  2. Companies make a lot of money when women feel really bad about themselves.
  3. “Each body on its own make total sense without their ridiculous little bra” and other things that “referred to some other ideal”.
  4. “Body decoration is a human impulse”.

Discussion on body image starts about 50:00 but the whole conversation is worth listening to! I’m sure you’ll find others that resonate with you!